Red Lobster cheddar biscuits deemed to be ‘too delicious’

Monday, June 1st, 2009

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A study today released by the Food and Drug Administration said that the cheddar biscuits served at Red Lobster chains around the country are “too delicious” and that consumers should be cautious of eating “excessive amounts of them.” FDA spokesman Saul Koski says, “Red Lobster has obviously infused these biscuits with substances that make them dangerously good. It is impossible to eat only a few of them.” The study shows that on average a customer will ingest 3-4 biscuits, with some eating as much as 10 or 11. “If someone eats that many biscuits they run the risk of severe indigestion or stomach cramps,” Koski says. “Red Lobster needs to attach a warning label to these luscious little creatures.”

Red Lobster spokesman Johnny Coopersmith says the restaurant chain is in compliance with all FDA regulations. “Servers let the customer know just how delicious these biscuits are before serving them,” Coopersmith says. “People know what they’re getting into when they enter our restaurant.”

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