Society
Michael Jackson’s death causes news vortex to cover world
Saturday, June 27th, 2009The death of pop superstar Michael Jackson has caused a black-hole- like news vortex to emerge, covering the United States and most of the rest of the world. This vortex has sucked any news item not related to Michael Jackson item into its belly and has essentially left most of the world wondering if [...]
Nintendo Wii to launch Facebook the videogame
Sunday, June 21st, 2009For those who can’t get enough of a Facebook fix through their computer or IPhone, rest easy, help is on the way. The makers of the Nintendo Wii, in conjunction with the creators of Facebook, announced plans today to release “Facebook: The video game” in early fall of this year. The game will re-create the [...]
Sidney Crosby named Hockey God
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009Sidney Crosby was the youngest player in NHL history to win the Art Ross Trophy, was the youngest player to be named a full team captain, was the youngest player in NHL history to record 100 points in a season, and just last week became the youngest captain in NHL history to win the Stanley [...]
Stanley Cup victory causes crime spree across Pittsburgh
Saturday, June 13th, 2009The majority of the people who live in the city of Pittsburgh stayed up late to celebrate the Penguins stunning victory last night in the Stanley Cup Finals, but hundreds of the late-night revelers paid a steep price for it by having their homes and businesses robbed, Pittsburgh police said this morning. Due to excessive [...]
Local cat upset at being taken to vet
Thursday, June 11th, 2009A local cat was heard to be yowling and growling quite loudly this evening as he was being taken to the vet by his obviously cruel and heartless owner. “Mosley” was due for his annual checkup and booster shots in July, but because his owner has plans for a trip out of town next month, [...]
Men who love New Kids on the Block find solace with one another
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009While the New Kids on the Block have always had a very strong and vocal fan base with women and young girls across the world since their self-titled debut album dropped in 1986, their male fans have always quietly stayed behind the scenes out of fear of being ridiculed and being made fun of. With [...]
Red Lobster cheddar biscuits deemed to be ‘too delicious’
Monday, June 1st, 2009A study today released by the Food and Drug Administration said that the cheddar biscuits served at Red Lobster chains around the country are “too delicious” and that consumers should be cautious of eating “excessive amounts of them.” FDA spokesman Saul Koski says, “Red Lobster has obviously infused these biscuits with substances that make them [...]